5 Reasons Why Your Man Won’t Cook

5 Reasons Why Your Man Won’t Cook

“He doesn’t do Jack in the kitchen”

So Let’s begin with a few basics. From one mans perspective. Us guys, we like to stay in our lane. Because of this, it’s not hard to figure us out, most of us know this about ourselves. We are, for the most part, pretty simple and transparent.

Your partner will not enjoy walking through clothing store to browse, with the possibility of buying. Your partner will not get all OMG, at the sight of pair of casual low heal boots, in a window display.

Further more, it’s really hard for us to justify the value of visiting 3 grocery stores, in the name of saving a few dollars.

Ladies, you can see us in action for yourself. Next time your man is heading out the door to the mens candy store, more commonly known as Home Depot, you can invite yourself. Fair warning, you may get yourself uninvited, but be persistent.

You will notice how most of us do not walk down every aisle, stopping at every anchor bolt, circular saw or weed killer.

We go right to “Plumbing”, put the replacement sprinkler hear, we broke off with the lawn mower, maybe a few 1/2in. pvc elbows.

To the checkout counter, back to to car. Boom. Done. Next!

man cooking

5 Reasons Why Your Man Won’t Cook

1. Culture

One observation to think about is the large contrast between women who cook at home, compared to men who cook professionally. I have for you, one of my own unscientific explanations, not supported by any credible data in this article. This opinion is relative to how I raised or more specifically what I was taught or not taught.

2. “Cooking is Women’s Work”.

Statements like this today, whether in a public or private setting may open up a discussion, will get you labeled a sexist or worse.

The truth is a significant number of 40 to 50+ year olds were raised in a 2 parent single family home. In many of these homes, the man worked and the woman kept the house, which included doing all or most of the cooking. BBQing not included.

3. Unfamiliarity

There is “No Flow’ around the kitchen for the man who dabbles occasionally with the cooking duties. This fellow isn’t consistent enough to take any real kitchen responsibility weight off his partner. He just doesn’t know his way around the kitchen and this makes him uncomfortable.

For example: The woman cook knows the vegetable strainer is 1 step left of the kitchen sink. Easy enough.

The man who isn’t as familiar with the kitchen layout, takes 2 steps to right, looks down into a cabinet, takes another few steps to the right, with no luck in finding the strainer. He may do this a couple more time until he finds what he needs.

This happens with finding bowls to defrost meats, veggies, finding the spices, the foil or plastic wrap etc. The grill outside is where he is in his element. Help or advise your partner without sounding naggy, I mean condescending. Men won’t admit it, but they enjoy praise. A little admiration for his efforts can overcome the feelings of frustration, may pay off handsomely for you.

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4. Embarrassment

“C’mon… Using a recipe is like asking for driving directions and you all know how guys respond to that…” states Robert Rosenthal, (contributing author with Huff Post, The Blog, Top 6 Reasons “Real” Men Don’t Cook.)

5. Fear of Failure

Cooking is one failure after another.

“I’m not good in the kitchen” was my motto. My fear of failure began to slowly take a lesser role in my willingness to cook, after my wife Rachel returned to work after our second child turned 8 months old.

I began to feel sorry for her. Many times she looked tired and frustrated. She would come home, sometimes later than me, would change clothes and headed to the kitchen to start making dinner. That’s how I was raised. The wife does the cooking. Forgive me for not knowing what I wasn’t taught.

woman and man cooking

As Bad as Some Meals Turned Out, She was Smart about It

She encouraged me to just follow a recipe card (This is obviously before either of us owned a cell phone). We would look it the recipe together and she would point out where everything is, so I just get the chopping block out and start to prepare everything. “Turn the oven before you start with the prep” she always reminded me.

Enough of the Niceties

If you can read, you can follow a recipe to cook a meal.

If he doesn’t know how to cook. Teach him. Be patient.

If your man doesn’t know how to change the oil on his car or do household repairs, take care of the lawn, unplug the backed up toilet, he might as well split cooking and washing duties with you.

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I researched this topic after exhausting what I assumed were the most obvious reason why men don’t cook. My stream of thought turned into a still pool of water. There isn’t much published research on the topic. Weird.

Last Thought

Give me your reason/s why you think there is this huge disparity of men who are willing to cook professionally vs cooking at home. Or why women are so underrepresented in the professional kitchen.

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